The world and its heaven

Without a doubt this week was one of the weirdest and unexpected of the last year I think. Most of the things that happen in your life you kind of expect or at least though about...
But with my plans to go to San Diego rather sooner than later, I never thought things would become so clear to me as they did this week.
I have a great job working as a nanny right now, but its not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Because I needed extra cash and had plenty of free time next to this job I desided to look into a second job. One that would fit my skills.
I ended up aplieng with an organisation in my hometown and they invited me over to meet. Litle did I know what was gonna happen. I asked them if they had some holes to fill in their scedule, or maby some of their workers were sick and I could fill their place.

As I walked into the building I hear loud kidsvoices.
Ive been working with handicapt kids and adult over the last 6 years, and love it! This was a daycare where the kids come during the day and have their own programme...
The voices come closer and I see a litle guy sitting in a wheelchair looking at me. His eyes stared in to mine, curious. A loud overwhelming sound comes out of his mouth and he starts laughing. I smile..... walk up to him and reach out my hand. He grabs mine and starts riding his wheelchair...I have to run with him, strong as he is I cant let go, and so I run with him trough the hallway...crazy...but loving it.
These kids are seriously amazing. They have so much joy and are so honest!
Finaly he lets me go, and I walk up to a lady, she leeds me into a room where I will have the meeting.

After an hour I leave. My smile on my face has left and made place for a surprised open mouth... As I walk to my bike and cicle home I realize that I just got a fulltime job offered!!!!
This would meen I have to end my current job, and will be making so much more money...
Ive had some financial differculties lately, this was the right timing, the right job....
Its just that I wanted to go to San Diego right now! Im so stubbern. God has been showing me several times to leave it up to Him. " My timing will be perfect..." I guess it is...cause my trip to San Diego will still be hapening, just a litle later, and I found out that around that time the tickets will be almost 300 euro's cheaper too... I guess this is it, this is how God takes over sometimes. Gives us oppertuntities and shows us that we dont even know what we can do!
He is so faithfull!!!
For the next few months everything is gonna chance...Ill moove into my new house with Alise, and start my new job soon hopefuly, I do need to quit my current job. That is gonna be hard... That litle guy has become the love of my life and I dont know how its going to be without him! But I know things will be ok.

To let go of your own will and let Gods will take over....I still dont know how people do it. But I know I fight that part of my relationship with God. When I want something I have the habbit to want it really bad and forget that this life is not mine, that the truth will hit me, and that God willl in the end (becuz I do want t o) show us what is best for us. His ways can be such a surprise and on the other hand, its not always fireworks, most of the time we just need to deal with life the way it is. With its responsebility's and sorrows. but with God its just a litle different. Its kind a like builiding a house with someone you love mostly...building on a future and doing that with someone you trust. Someone you know that care's for you. That will put the right windows in the house, the best door, and the best furniture. Still you can choose in wich chair you want to sit, or weather you open or close the door.

His love...knowing that when I walk away from Him, I only have to turn around and reach out my hand. No mather how far we walk away from Him, he will always be right behind us, to catch us when we fall or gently push us in the right directions!
All we have to do is let Him do that!

Trust and Love, Hope and Forgiveness

The bible is full of Gods love for us, His promises and wisdom.
I find it very hard to live without Him. Him telling us (in the bible) that He loves us, He cares for us and even in this crappy world, He is with us. We are His children and He wants us to endup in the right place. There is no doubt that God is like a Father, one that never fails us.
Its hard to realize that He does love me, me completely. With all the mistakes I make.....

He loves you.......