Merry Christmas and a white new year!

Just a litle note, letting you know Amsterdam is coverd in a really thin layer of snow. Its beautiful. I always get up really early around 6am, walking the streets at that time is like walking in a fairytell right now. With everyting being white. As if someone draw a really thin line around the builings, bridges, the hundred bikes, and the lights. It takes your breath away.

So...yeah, I must admit I like this, but than on the other hand, knowing Ill be in San Diego in less than a month, makes me more exited. Cuz when all my friends here in Holland are still stuck in the cold, Ill be enyoing some real sunshine over there and surf the pasific ocean.
But for now I look out of my window, realizing it started snowing again, fine powder....

Who know's........ we might get a white cristmas after all!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a cheap ticket to the states!

I got one....its for real now, I just bought a ticket that will bring me to the states!
Im so excited, I have a holiday, but still get payd as if I work, and I have a ticket that is cheap!!! I just found out that a really good friend of mine is also mooving to San Diego....all these thing make me realy happy!! yey!!! :D
So, soon Ill be flying out and visit my long-time-not-seen friends and brothers (they're famous!) The Stimacs, Danny, Jon, and Chris! Should be awesome! (Also known as Goodbey Elliot!) Cruising the streets of LA, free place to stay....! yes yes yes
Than Ill take the train ( o yeah) to San Diego, im exited about that litle trip, and about all the people that Ill be meeting again!

hot chocolat from a stranger

6 o'clock in the morning, my alarm goes off...

I turn on my back and trie to feel my left arm. Than I open my eyes, its pitchblack in my room, and as I unwrap my self out of my blanket I can feel the cold air touching my skin.

Than in one second jump out of my bed, deside to skip the shower this morning (we do not have a heater in our bathroom..) and get dressed as quikly as I can. SO COLD!!!

I close the litle window (hate sleeping with my windows closed, even when its freezing out) and turn on my heater. Although I know, its not gonna help much, by the time I have to leave for work it will still be cold in my room.

So when Im done breakfast and packing my bags I dare to go out at 6.30 am. Its still pitchblack...I keep walking, and litle cloudes are leaving my mouth as I breath out. I think back of the summer, when its light at 6 am, and warm just a few minutes later, when the sun wakes me up instead of the noizy sound of my alarm.

As I catch my train just intime, a guy comes sitting next to me. Its to early for me to talk and think at the same time, all I need to focus on now, Im thinking, is not forgetting to take my bag with me when I leave the train as I get to Amsterdam.

The guy smiles at me. I cant....I cant smile back. Please, I think, leave me alone, Im going to make a complete fool out of my self when I have to talk this early. I keep looking at the wall infront of me, the bright TLlight glowing on my face....and we all know how that makes us look dont we?!

And than it happens, I so hoped it wouldnt, but it does.....The guy next to me opens his mouth, breaths in and starts to talk; "where are you off to so early?" Oooooh, no, questions, what time is i....?

"work" I say, realising that that is my first word of the morning, prob didnt sound to cute.

He smiles again, than I see his green eyes, lovely smile and his shoes (yes, they are importend!!!). Hm, atleast someone knows how to look cute at 6 in the morning. As I look around me I see no one is notesing our litle confersation and keeps reading their paper or keeps sleeping.

I get myself together again and look at this hansome young men. Its not his fault I have a bad morning, and Im still freezing right? So I tell him in a litle more words where I am going, and what my day will be like, adding the fact that its very cold... yes, I did say that...pff, well its still early.

I dont know what happend, but as in a second this guys comes sit closer next to me, and tells that it shoud be a rule that when people are cold they have to sit closer together. That will make them warm! Im stunned. What the heck, how can he just say this....even more stunning, its still early....where does he find all the words.

He keeps talking in a very (I must admit, I was starting to enyoi this....) sweet way, at the station in Amsterdam he buys me a hot choclat, shakes my hand and walks away.

Can you emagine?

I just stood there................................mist my tram, wich made me take my bike and arive with frozen fingers at my work.... BUT EY WHO CARES....

I had someone buy my hot choclat at 6.45 in the morning!!!!!!!

Smile sun, smile :D:D

Of to San Diego............

Not yet, but soon. In the end of januari Ill be going there and stay for about 3 weeks.
Im really exited, and a litle nervous because Im about to find out if I will be mooving there in june for more than 6 months.
God has showed me directions, and I am taking a leap of faith.....
Its a litle weird as I have always sayd to myself I could never live in the states, but after spending september in San Diego, I loved it there, and doors opened. Crazy... than it got quiet for a while, and I thought that maby I wasnt listening to Gods voice and it was just the holiday and the vibe I got there because of the summer and stuff.
I was doubting my faith and my trust in God...
That was good, cuz it made me presue Him more and more, and after 2 months it became a litle more clear that God did have a plan for me in SD. With that I wrote someone I met in SD if he knew a way of staying there so I didnt have to stay in a Hostel. I just wanted to experience the other side, instead of just do vacation.
I will be having jobintervieuws....maby some work, and as I found myself a house with 3 aweseom girls, it almost can't get anybetter. They says I could stay in one of the rooms for those three weeks, and Im hoping this would be a place that I can stay at when I start mooving there. Crazy how Gods plans go...at the same time, there is a place and a time for everything so I know I can only trust in Him and let Him lead me in this whole process. And have patiente...

Its been a great and growth experience, my friends tell me how much I am changing and I see my self growing in God. I just LOVE HIM, and wanna screem it of the roofs. Trust in Him, have patience....and He will lead. And I think most importent, let go of all your own plans. God will even make them better and prepeare you for them!!! He will never make you do something that you can't or don't want to, because He knows our passions most of the times better than we do!
Im laying down my rights, and wait.......again.

In the meen time, there are some other, more routine, things coming up, cool stuf though! This saterday Ill be attending the clothe-swop-party, where I can get some new secondhandsclothe and trade them for my own old clothe! Awesome idea! And after that we'll be going out, dancing at club 11! Even better!
Birthdays of my best friends are coming up, cristmas is going to be interesting this year, more about that later, and ofcourse the Newyears Party at Dwaze Zaken. Joost is spinning, so it cant get any better!!Im excited about this new year, bring it on!

As far as I know, one of my friends from Michigan (USA) will be coming over and stay with me for a couple of days in the end of this month. That should be great!

All good things! I am thankfull!
Cant wait for the holidays to begin!

Its a godthing and a video check it out

There is this overwelming feeling that takes place in my heart ones in a while, its almost indiscribable, and it only happens once in a while. Its not attached to any place, or state of mind.
Its Gods unbelievable love and grace for me, that takes my breath away this morning.

As Im praying and laying down the things that I hold on to so tight, before His trone.
With all that we are we give ourselfs to our havenly father everyday, and lets be honest, we are not a lot. All we can do in this life is be at our best but that is only possible with Him. I just dont always go back to that point. Dont we all.
Sometimes we get stuck in a situation, or a thought so bad, and it gets so big that it gets in Gods way of reaching out to us. We almost let that "thing" or situation deside whats best for us. At least I do that a lot. And all that I can do is draw closer to God and let all that seems so importend to me in my life go.
Letting go is not a thing Im very good at.
Ive known that for a long time now. But its not helping me either, its making my life incredible differcult sometimes, and hurts more than I should be hurt.
But as I started this blog, I have learned over the past years by praying and reading and just be silent in His presence, Gods grace and attention for me. Its overwelming when you do realise that He is the best thing in your life. What can happen when we actually give in and surrender ourselfs to truth like that. He is mighty to safe and is gently to Love like no one can!
As Im writing this more to myself than to anyone else, I realise that nothing is in my own control, as much as I have a big responsibility in my life, and I have recieved just like you have, the freedom to make choises and the knowledge to make the right ones.... In all that God has the final word if we let Him, and give Him the space.
I guess Im telling my self not to be afraid to give up the things I hold on to, and let the peacefull space of God fill my heart instead of my own "wise" thoughts....
...........
And as I am doing that, doors open and I see new cool caracter in my best friends, I realise how cool the things are that God has for, me and how beautifull that path that He is leading me on!!
Yes, God is allmight, freedom, great, freedom, tough in His love and grace is His way of life!!
What an amazing Love He Gives us!
I'm recieving it with bouth of my hands, and lay myself down in his peace, trusting in Him!!!
Amen.


Beacuse of advent I added this video, check it out, its in dutch but you'll get the message, if not Ill translate it for you;
He is coming......we dont know when or where or how, but do we still expecting? Are we ready fo Him, as in prepared? It made me think about all the things in my life that are way more importend to me that Jesus coming back.... I have to get ready, not in a superdrastic way, no a natural one, expecting that Jesus will come to us and make things good. When or where or how, are the least importent things to know, that fact that He promised one day He will be among us should make me, should make you, expectfull.............................................................................. ready?